Where are the autistic safe spaces in our schools? This is a question that requires some definition, I think, because when I posed this to a number of folks on social media there was some confusion. So I will first set some simple terms.
Safe. We all know what that means, right? Free from hurt, injury, danger, or risk, according to the second definition on dictionary.com. The same goes with space. Definition 2 again, the portion or extent of this in a given instance; extent or room in three dimensions. Most of the folks reading my blog know what autism is and what autistic means, so I’m not going to bother defining that what. What do they mean when put together?
For me, the simple definition I use is a space where an autistic person can be themselves without negative consequence provided they are not causing harm to themselves or others. It seems simple, right? By “free to be themselves” I mean that the autistic person can stim, sit still, rock, pursue a specific interest, or do whatever they please within the space whether it is an “appropriate” or “normal” behavior or an “autistic” or “abnormal” behavior. I’m not using “maladaptive behavior” here because its too limiting, and often poorly defined. We can talk about that in another post.
I got this idea initially because my son is autistic and, last year, he went to his autism resource room where he was scolded for vocally stimming. I said to my wife “that’s the only place in the school where he can be autistic!” Of course, if you know me then you know I said it much more colorfully, but I’m paraphrasing here. That made me wonder though, was it a place he could be safely autistic? Apparently not, because he was reprimanded for just doing what he does. We straightened that incident out with the school, but it kept nagging at me.
While advocating, I kept coming across various autism settings, like resource rooms, varying exceptionality programs, self contained programs, and they all seemed to have one thing in common: these were places kids were sent when they were “too autistic” for a gen ed classroom. That’s a whole other issue, but it also poses an interesting question. If the kid is too autistic for the gen ed classroom, is the alternative setting designed to be a safe and welcoming space to be autistic?
Based on what I hear from the teachers and parents, it is not. It is often a place where autistic children are taught to mask their autism, or hide their autistic traits from neurotypical peers so they will fit in. Strategies to teach autistic kids how neurotypical kids think and how to think like they do are heavily promoted.
Earlier this week, I was in a meeting for a client of mine and it got somewhat contentious. I’m not going to dive too deeply into the details due to confidentiality concerns, but the gist of it was that we asked for more time in a less gen ed setting and a more special ed setting and the school pushed back. I asked the school where it was safe for my client to be autistic in their building, and they couldn’t answer the question. My assumption is that failing to answer the question is, in fact, proof that an autistic safe space does not exist.
My client’s mother asked where in the building the child felt safe being autistic. The child said “nowhere. The only place I can be myself is at home.” That’s heartbreaking to me. Can you imagine living your life that way? Granted, I’m an ADHD guy, so I spill my emotions everywhere and just assume people love me for it. But not this kid. They know they will be judged.
So this child made me realize I needed more data. Not from parents or teachers, but from actually autistic people. So two days ago I started asking questions of my friends and folks I know on social media about this subject. I’m going to spend some time gathering their answers and discussing this concept with the folks who want to engage on it. If you want to send me some feedback, reach out to me on social media or shoot me an email. My next post, which should be out next week, will dive into their answers. My third post in this series will focus on solutions derived from the community responses!